Nothing is accidental...
(...and the surprise songs are no exception)
Writing for you today: Natasha (Today is a Fairytale stan, Coney Island defender, and the only member of Swiftian Theory who enjoys the Love Story tour proposals)
I don’t want to say it but I’m going to say it: even I (slightly) tired of the Taylor discourse last month. It’s not that I ever get bored of talking about Taylor to people who love her as much as I do. But for the first time since maybe the Kim/Kanye pre rep era fiasco, reading all the articles about her stopped being fun. The jet law suit. The right wing conspiracy theories. The calls for her to talk about the election (/anything to do with politics). When the Chiefs were playing badly, all the chatter blaming her for distracting Travis, or being on screen too much. And then when they started playing well, people saying the NFL was biased towards her for viewing figures. Obviously I loved all the clips of her partying at the Superbowl – this is my new favourite to send to friends as a reaction – and of her and Travis dancing to Love Story etc etc. But the rest of it? In her We Are Never Getting Back Together Voice: “I just, I mean, this is exhausting, you know?”
That’s why I was thrilled when tour started up again and I could return to my favourite pastime: watching the surprise songs on Tik Tok each morning and tapping back into the conversation she’s secretly having with us. The one that she started through her choice of songs, the way she sings them and the order she places them in. The one in which she’s communicating with her fanbase in a way that only we understand.
This conversation is a joyful antidote to all the other crap and a reminder of why we are all here in the first place. It isn’t covered by mainstream outlets who are busy running stories with her and Biden in the same headline for clicks. Unless they have swifties on staff, they’d probably miss it. Even if they do, it would be a risk to try to confirm what she’s hinting at in an article, because sometimes it’s so subtle you aren’t quite sure that’s exactly what she’s trying to tell you… until you remember that ‘nothing is accidental’. She knows we read into everything, we know she knows, and she knows we know she knows. Which is a confusing way of saying: when she closed her eyes and shook her head after singing ‘Was she worth it?’ in the Boston ‘Should’ve Said No’ performance? I think we can assume she was telling us something.
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It's wild to think about the journey she’s been on since starting this tour. From the end of a love she thought would last ‘forever and ever’ to the tears running down her face on stage in the aftermath and the removal of Invisible String from the setlist. Then there was the 1989-esque Taylor-seen-at-every-restaurant era. The Matty Healy month (for the record my bet is that he’s the ‘muse’ for The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived on Poets, and possibly Fortnight too). Then there was The Great Joe Unfollowing. More seriously, the death of a fan. The ‘I can do it with a broken heart’ weeks where she appeared emotional on stage in a way that we rarely see in an artist whose on stage persona is so carefully plotted. And, of course, the maybe-a-circus-actually-is-a-love-story Travis period. As is the case for all of us when relationships start and end, the future she imagined for herself – and even wrote songs about – has changed multiple times since March 2023 when the eras tour began. And sometimes, she sits down at a piano, or picks up a guitar, and tells us what that feels like.
The tricky thing about being a Taylor fan for me, sometimes, is the tension between wanting to respect her as an artist but also being deeply invested in her subject matter. I wish I could pretend that I don’t care which ex a song is about, or which month she wrote it in and how that makes us revaluate the story she told about the relationship at the time. Sometimes I also wish that all of us could leave her alone, just a little, give her a bit more space to be a real person in the world who can go to a friend’s wedding without a crowd of people showing up and creating a weird atmosphere just because she’s a guest. She has, as she told us in You Are In Love, spent her whole life trying to put love into words. But because she’s so good at it, because we love those words so deeply, are we making it impossible – or at least much harder - for her to find love in the real world in a real way? Of course, she courts this attention from us. Then there’s the fact that the work creates love too. (Shoutout to the swifties who already think loml is about the fanbase.) It’s just that it gets messy when the wider world hijacks our efforts to understand why her songs make us feel the way they do. Things turn weird so quickly. (Case in point: the Jake death threats around the release of Red TV.)
I think that’s why I love the narrative fans can find in the surprise songs so much; they provide a space somewhere in between Deux Moi and denial, where Swifties can indulge in the stories they’ve projected onto her songs without feeding into something we can’t control. Of course it’s worth saying here that none of us have any idea what’s really going on in her personal life – the Joe breakup news and Midnights timeline was a wake up call for me in this respect. But we know enough; we know the feeling, we know when she means one line a little more than all the others, because we feel it more too. The best lines are always the intimately true ones.
So since we’re about to enter the Poets era, potentially the most in-depth analysis of a Taylor breakup in the press since Red – buckle up! – I thought I would linger in this special place a little longer by sharing my favourite surprise song performances.
Watch, enjoy…and send me your favourites. xxx
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve, Nashville Night Three
The rain. Aaron showing up. The song, the song, the song! In Swiftian Theory we’ve spent a lot – and I mean a lot – of time asking why on earth this song wasn’t on the main Midnights album. For me, it’s the best song on the whole thing. I used to wonder if maybe she just wasn’t aware how good it was??! But this performance debunks that theory, as she tells us that it’s one of her favourite songs she’s recorded with Aaron (and he later posted that he thinks it’s the best one he’s done with her). Maybe she wanted to keep Midnights as a whole, cohesive Jack album (frankly a terrible decision given the quality of the bonus tracks). But watching this performance, I wonder if it was because she knew how good it was, she knew how personal it was, and she didn’t want it to light a fire in the press in a ‘Dear John Part Two’ kinda way? That can be the only explanation. (Please share any others …)
Oh, and you know what I said earlier about the best lines being the truest ones? Just look at the way she sings ‘give me back my girlhood / it was mine firrrrrrrssst’, mouth open, holding on to the ‘first’, full of rage and regret, just lost in it all, in front of us all. I am still not over it.
(This is also the first time I realised that when she’s wearing the yellow dress she’s here to destroy us.)
Cornelia Street, Night Three, Mexico City
Swiftian Theory subscribers already know my views on this masterpiece. All I have to add is: did Taylor write ‘I can do it with a broken heart’ after reading my post? It’s not NOT possible.
Our Song, Las Vegas, Night One
No narratives here, just an impeccable song and one of the best surprise song vibes and performances. Justice for Debut!! When will this woman pay for her crimes! Ditch Bad Blood and The Man from the setlist and give us Our Song and Tim McGraw!!
The Great War, Tampa Night Two
An interesting song choice just weeks after the breakup was announced..
Back when Midnights came out - and I still believed the Invisible String love story was end game - my Swiftian Co-founder Arielle pointed out that The Great War didn’t sound verrrrry fictional or removed. The ‘Somewhere in the haze / got a sense I’d been betrayed’ sounded too much like those intimately true lines. You can feel that she means it, and the choice to sing this song in this moment, particularly the way she sings that line, only reinforces it for me. (Also: a top tier Taylor bridge.)
You’re Not Sorry, Houston, Night One
Oh hello again yellow dress of destruction!
Just a few weeks after the breakup was announced, two days after her friends begin unfollowing Joe on instagram, this is from the ‘Taylor is mad as hell’ section of the surprise songs. I love it when she tilts her head back, eyes closed. It’s almost as if she’s taking out her rage on those piano keys. Her voice sounds so good. An incredible performance.
Cold as You, Houston, Night Three
In the same category but with more sadness, we have underrated track five Cold As You. This feels like one of her rawest surprise song performances for me, and a poignant choice in this moment. The look in her eyes, the head tilts, the seriousness of it all, the way she sings ‘every smile you fake is so condescending’. In case you want an extra cut: fans on twitter have pointed out the links between ‘And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you’ in this song and ‘I would die for you in secret’ in arguably one of her most personal Joe songs, Peace. Queen of the swifites when it comes to lyric analysis - @SippingAugust on twitter - also pointed out that this was an interesting pairing with Begin Again on this night: ‘begin again and cold as you might seem like a strange pair, but actually I think it shows the complexity of grief. there's times when you think you're getting over it and then in the next moment you're questioning again and angry—but it's all part of the healing.’
High Fidelity and Gorgeous, Atlanta, Night Two
I honestly can’t get my head around the links between these two, but a big portion of the fandom enjoys discussing them (see below).
Last Kiss, Kansas City, Night Two
‘It’s time to play Last Kiss and Cry,’ she announced - and I did. This song is one of the most underrated in her catalogue for me and her vocals are incredible in this performance. The quietly devastating way she sings ‘but now i’ll go / sit on the floor wearing your clothes.’ The gutting simplicity of the line ‘ All that I know is I don’t know / How to be something you miss’. What, a, line! It made me fall in love with the song all over again.
Call It What You Want, Cincinnati, Night Two
Otherwise known as ‘I can do it with a broken part’ part two / the yellow dress strikes again
The way she sings ‘I’m doing better than I ever was’ is… one of my favourite moments of the tour. You can really feel the difference between this performance and the way she sang it on the Rep tour. I love it for all the reasons I loved the Cornelia Street one. She’s reclaiming these songs in new ways and it’s moving and inspiring and all the other flat words I can’t find to describe the feeling of watching it all.
You’re On Your Own Kid, Tampa Night Two AND Mexico City, Night Three
I love contrasting these. The first performance of this, on the second night after the breakup was made public, is so emotional. Then the fact that she chose this to directly follow Cornelia Street in Mexico City says it all to me. I love how much she is enjoying herself in this second one, how much she’s smiling, how much has already changed. (Also one of my favourite songs on Midnights, possibly second after WCS.)
You’re Losing Me, Melbourne Night One
Every time we are foolish enough to think ‘she won’t go there, will she?’ of course she does. From the very personal place she must have been in while writing ‘I wouldn’t marry me either’ to thousands of people screaming ‘I’m the best thing at this party’, I think, similarly to All Too Well, this is another example of the fans changing the meaning of the song for and with her in real time.
Forever & Always x Maroon and Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve x Ivy, Sydney, Night Four
Okay I’m going to stop now as I’m just picking every performance, but I had to select one from the recent mash ups, esp because I feel like she’s been continuing this secret conversation with us during this portion of the tour. There was the head shake after ‘Is it enough?’ in Peace (*gulp*). The combination of Long Story Short and The Story Of Us: Long Story Short…the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now. If you want to find it, there is a deep sea of theories about the way she chose to mash up the lyrics of Peace and New Year’s day (a taster).
But my choice from this run had to be these pairings, and not just they are four of my absolute favourite Taylor Songs. You’ll be glad to hear I’ve finally run out of words. Just watch and marvel at it all.
***
Stuff I’m thinking about this week
*The joy of connecting with new swifties in the office. Would def recommend seeking them out in yours (if you have one)
*The fact that Bryce Dessner - Aaron’s twin - said that he has heard Poets, which means maybe there’s a chance he and Aaron feature on it? Really hope this is true.
*That after Getaway Car, Jack’s favourite songs off Rep are Dress and This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things?!?! Wtf jack. (Having said this I am a Dress defender. Always loved it, always will…though a lot of friends seem to disagree. But I cannot endorse ranking TIWWCHNT as top three on that album. A deeply problematic take!!!!!.)
*And finally..the very exciting news that Swiftian Theory co-founder Satu’s book Into The Taylor-Verse is now available to pre-order! Go, Go, Go!
Thank you all for reading. xxx
Loved this! Thank you! Can’t wait for Taylor to come to Dublin in June
Yessssssss